Have you ever walked through the mall and passed one of those soft pretzel stands? In the past, my friend and I have bought a pretzel and a little cup of orange, fake cheese as an afternoon snack. We would sit down on a bench and chat, watching people pass us by as we nibble on our pretzel. That’s all good; no harm in that. Now, what if we were two mothers who stopped for a rest at the same bench, breastfeeding our hungry babies? Apparently, many take offense to this natural (and biologically necessary) process. All we would be doing is being good mothers! Why is it so different when we sit eating a pretzel than a baby nursing milk in the mall?
I’ve long wondered (quite loudly and unashamedly in public places) why breasts are so sexualized. Of course, I wonder why women are so sexualized in general, but breasts? Really? While all are different, I look at mine and see pokey lumps that are a bit squishy and a bit pointy and just there… not really sexy at all when you think about it. If that’s what makes a body part sexy, then why is my elbow ignored? Poor elbow wants some love!
Further still, it’s not necessarily the breast that is so risqué; rather, it’s the nipple. A double standard exists where a so-called ‘nip slip’ is a shameful, news-worthy ordeal, while men walk around baring their nipples like it’s no big deal. Breasts are a feeding mechanism, able to give comfort and nutrition to a baby. Why are we shamed for helping propogate the human race? And when nudity is promoted, why is it that a nipple is still so shameful, but having the rest of the breast exposed is okay? If it’s because breasts are viewed as sexual “objects,” then it makes me wonder what would happen if we started idolizing, say, the fingers of men. I could write a whole other snarky article about that.
The subject of breastfeeding in public has become more controversial over the years as more people decide to publically breastfeed their children. Many are ostracized and their stories frequently make headlines. Forty-five states, including Washington DC, have laws that protect our right to breastfeed a baby in public. Twenty-eight states (plus good ole’ DC) exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws. This really awesome page over at the National Conference of State Legislatures’ website outlines all of the laws in each state regarding breastfeeding and breastfed babies. In most states, it is your right by law to breastfeed your baby in public, and nobody can tell you otherwise.
Despite the laws in most states, people are still thoroughly against public breastfeeding. Take a look at this video from ABC’s reality series What Would You Do? in which an actress is attacked for “breastfeeding” a doll in public.
And these women were harassed by security after breast feeding in a shopping mall, a perfectly legal act. They were accused of exposing themselves in public and were even told off by a state trooper.
In 2006, a parenting magazine called Babytalk published an issue with the cover depicting a baby nursing from a bare breast. Despite it being devoid of sexual tones and on a parenting magazine, many readers were outraged and felt the image was “gross.” In an Associated Press article, a woman says that she didn’t want her 13-year-old son to see the magazine cover because “it’s a sexual thing. He didn’t need to see that.”
If anything, this boy needs to see this magazine cover. By hiding the cover from her son, that woman is basically saying that women’s bodies are sexual objects, no matter the context. She is telling her son that the natural, wholesome, and frankly beautiful, action of feeding your baby is shameful, wrong, and disgusting. She could have very easily used this as a learning opportunity by explaining to him the importance of breastfeeding or just left it sitting on the coffee table. By making a big deal out of it, this woman has pushed along the cycle of shame that accompanies public breastfeeding.
Why don’t these parents just use bottles and save themselves the trouble? While one can use bottled breast milk or formula, fresh breast milk is extremely beneficial. It contains nutrients that cannot be matched by manufactured formulas and it creates a special bond between mother and child. Breast milk is easier to digest and prevents diseases and sickness; babies fed formula have a higher risk of diabetes, obesity, and asthma. It’s also a hell of a lot cheaper. Bottled breast milk, while better than formula, is still in a bottle. Not only is it taking away from that bonding experience, but research shows that the nutrients in bottled breast milk decrease over time. By prohibiting us from breastfeeding in public, which is often necessary for parents out on the town or at work, society may be prohibiting the next generation from growing up healthier and stronger.
It’s not like women are sitting in shopping malls and crowded parks whipping out their breasts and saying, “Look at me! See this? This is a breast and this is a baby! Look at my breasts!” No, in fact, it is the exact opposite. They politely sit themselves away from others, often cover themselves with a small blanket, bib, or cardigan, and proceed to discretely feed their child. You would be none the wiser walking past, thinking that they’re merely holding her baby.
This growing controversy over breastfeeding in public ties in with the never-ending quest for equality and the end of hypocrisy. It baffles me that women are allowed to walk around in bikini tops and bottoms, sometimes revealing more than their oh-so-shameful, not-for-the-public-eye underwear, but aren’t allowed to pull aside a small section of their shirts to breastfeed. It’s ludicrous that shirtless men are seen on a daily basis in the summer months, but breastfeeding parents are attacked for discretely sitting in a corner by themselves. The amount of cleavage shown during breastfeeding (if any) is significantly less than the amount I would see in a high school on a 15-year-old girls with a pushup bra and a low-cut top.
It’s 2013. Let’s all grow up a little bit.
